Wednesday, 3 November 2010

moving on

So Kapotasana is still here, heel grab yesterday and TWICE today.  The stuff I wrote yesterday helped me remember what to do.  I usually do kapo A 3 times, I made it in on the second and third attempts today.  I'm going to keep up the repetitions until I can consistently get in.  Once in this pose is so much nicer, something to hold on to at last, no more hanging in outer space.  Been slacking on the timed kapos this week, not got the mental stamina for it. 

I am having a short practice week this week as I am going to the London at the weekend and will do a mysore class, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  So I am having Friday off and doing primary Thursday.  I am grateful for the shorter week and the imminent shala visit.  At the shala I will just do my practice as is without working on kapo as such, it'll be good for me.  I will also see my teacher Monday.

So kapotasana isn't my last pose, I have a whole load of asana to do after that.  I also have a new pose, it's just two weeks old,  it's just a baby duckling, it's karandavasana.  I've been a bit shaky post kapotasana for the last two weeks, (less so today) making working on karandavasana challenging.  I'm just trying to get into lotus, whilst balanced on my forearms and I have almost done it a couple of times but lost it at the last moment, my right hip is tight but it's possible, just practice and balance.  I'm glad to just have one step to work at, I was worried about how on earth I was going to work at it as a mostly at home practitioner, it seemed very overwhelming! 

I'm still really enjoying reading cutting through spiritual materialism.  It's been really useful to have it to reflect on as I go through dramatic change in my practice.  I'm highlighting my favorite bits on my iphone, I have it on kindle for iphone as well as the real book, great to have both (although funny for a book about materialism), my partner already had the book.  I'll post more on that when I am finished.

I've also been meditating daily for twenty minutes, vipasana.  That's as long as I can sit in lotus, I guess I will extend it, we will see.  For now it is enough.  I first learnt vipasana about 11 years ago.  I had a regular practice pre astanga but found the astanga practice was more what I needed.  I have found that in yoga emotions come to the surface when I am ready for them.  I have no idea how that works it's like magic. In meditation for me they came up quick and I used to find it hard not to react at times, not during the meditation but after.  When I have forgotten all about the meditation and suddenly found myself hating an ex boyfriend whilst waling down the street and wondering where such strong emotion came from.   I went on a 10 day vipasana retreat when I was 19, I'm grateful for the space it created for me in my mind.  Having dealt with my own stuff a lot through asana I now feel I can handle it's intensity, I also don't have so much stuff, I'm much lighter, thank you asana. 

I've needed all this today as I have been cycling around in the rain, the rain I can handle but the erratic driving was a bit scary at times.  It is strange how people feel they have to hurry when they are in a car in the rain, I don't get it, I mean they are inside.  Anyway a few close calls on my way to work am greatful to my practice for the awareness it gave me, I'm grateful to be safe, obviously as I'm writing about it I still need to work on moving on, back to the mat.....tomorrow that is off for a bath now, yum!

5 comments:

  1. Hi, great to hear you are fully incorporating the meditation, would be great to hear your comments too on how that goes, and I guess our little conversation yesterday is turning into post for you and for me, so interesting :-) hope it stops raining ...

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  2. Yes Claudia, it made me realize I had a lot of thoughts on it. I found our discussion useful and am looking forward to hearing more about it from you. This week it has been great to have a sitting practice because my asana practice has seemed so outwardly dramatic. I feel like I have a different body, so to just sit removes that drama, which is interesting. I remember doing a workshop with a buddhist astanga teacher and he was discussing how the ego can creep into a meditation practice too. I've never really given this my full consideration before, but hey I'm getting ahead of myself, this is probably my next blog post, lol!

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  3. I like the idea of meditation, our Shala has days when you can "Sit", but not on Sundays. Though I think I would need some guidance.

    Karanda at home sounds daunting, but I know you have the determination and focus to make it work.

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  4. Hi Kevin, meditation, there is not much to it but good to have some guidance along the way, maybe a retreat? Great discusion about this on Claudia's blog.

    If I think about karandavasana as a whole thing it seems way to hard but if I just work at it one step at a time, which is all we can ever do really, it seems okay. Not that I have made it into lotus by myself yet, but I have had a few nearly's, that let me know one day I will. A thousand mile journey starts with a single step and all that. Thanks for having faith in me.

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