Monday, 26 October 2009

unravelling for this moment

Sometimes when I blog about practice or talk about practice it seems so focused on the physical.  I was tight today, I couldn't do blah blah, oh woah I can now do blah blah.  I think this because it is something concrete and easy to explain but is by no means the whole story.  You can explain the same event in different ways.  I'll give you an example from my own practice last week.

Version 1-  I really didn't want to do kapotasana, I felt some resistance emotionally and physically. I did a few prep back bends and really felt myself open.  It was maybe a little bit deeper, I touched my toes.  Heels still seem a long way away.

Version 2-  As I reached kapotasana I felt some resistance I focused on my breath and went into it.  I love the way that yoga makes me face all aspects of myself and thus integrate them.  As I hung there breathing opening my heart.  I realised that I could die at any moment and that one day I would die and that this scared me on some deep level that I had never acknowledged.  I kept my focus on the breath and allowed my body to open as I acknowledged this deep truth about my own mortality.

They are both the same event. When I talk about trying to get a pose or deepen it, the real subtance of that experience for me is that it facilitates this process of unravelling which allows me to experience each moment more fully both on and off the mat.